REVISION
Once, in the city park.....
Ze : Who is that? so beautiful!
Tiger : Ah yeah, who is that?
Lin : Oh, Umm I think that is Swannie, my friend
Ze : Who is Swannie? Is she beautiful? seems like she is beautiful
Tiger : yes,yes,yes who is she? from here seems like she is so beautiful
Lin : Oke, Come on over there, lets walk to there, I'll introduce you and you to her
Ze+Tiger : Okay!
Then, they take a walk to the side of lake.
Lin : Excuse me, isn't you Monnie?
Swannie : Oh, yes, oh sorry I'm Swanroke, what's going on?
Lin : Oh, I'm sorry, I'm wrong. I thought you are Swannie
Swannie : Oh no problem, she just walked away
Lin : Oh oke, oke let me introduce my self, my name is Lin, nice to meet you
Ze+Tiger : Ehm ehm ehm
Lin : Oh yeah, sorry let me introduce two boys beside me, he is Tiger..
Tiger : Hello I'm Tiger, nice to meet you Swanroke (handshake)
Swannie : Hello nice to meet you too Tiger
Lin : Oke stop Tiger, and he is Ze
Ze : Hello, I'm Ze, You are so beautiful Swannie
Swannie : Oh, Hello, thank you Ze, nice to meet you Ze~
Ze : Nice to meet you too
Swannie : Oh oke, I have to go now, Monnie is waiting for me
Lin : Oh umm, I have one question for you, are you twin?
Swannie : Hehe yes we are
Tiger+Ze+Lin : Ooooh
Swannie : Umm, I have to go now, see you
Once, in the city park.....
Ze : Who is that? so beautiful!
Tiger : Ah yeah, who is that?
Lin : Oh, Umm I think that is Swannie, my friend
Ze : Who is Swannie? Is she beautiful? seems like she is beautiful
Tiger : yes,yes,yes who is she? from here seems like she is so beautiful
Lin : Oke, Come on over there, lets walk to there, I'll introduce you and you to her
Ze+Tiger : Okay!
Then, they take a walk to the side of lake.
Lin : Excuse me, isn't you Monnie?
Swannie : Oh, yes, oh sorry I'm Swanroke, what's going on?
Lin : Oh, I'm sorry, I'm wrong. I thought you are Swannie
Swannie : Oh no problem, she just walked away
Lin : Oh oke, oke let me introduce my self, my name is Lin, nice to meet you
Ze+Tiger : Ehm ehm ehm
Lin : Oh yeah, sorry let me introduce two boys beside me, he is Tiger..
Tiger : Hello I'm Tiger, nice to meet you Swanroke (handshake)
Swannie : Hello nice to meet you too Tiger
Lin : Oke stop Tiger, and he is Ze
Ze : Hello, I'm Ze, You are so beautiful Swannie
Swannie : Oh, Hello, thank you Ze, nice to meet you Ze~
Ze : Nice to meet you too
Swannie : Oh oke, I have to go now, Monnie is waiting for me
Lin : Oh umm, I have one question for you, are you twin?
Swannie : Hehe yes we are
Tiger+Ze+Lin : Ooooh
Swannie : Umm, I have to go now, see you
hello galuh ^~^)/ i'm the first here~ I wil revise your line "Lion : Oke, Come on over there, lets walk to there, I'll introduce you and you to her" in sentence "I'll introduce you and you to her" you can chane with "I'll introduce both of you to her"
BalasHapusGood Job Galuh! review mine back at rinintaoktav.blogspot.com
*change
Hapusalright rinta, thank you:))
Hapusaloha galuh^^
BalasHapusyour story like drama actually "sinetron" that i ever seen hehe:D
but it's great diallogue *aja aja hwaiting
(visit and put your comments on marlanisa.blogspot.com)
good dialogue galuh,,,
BalasHapusdon't forget to visit and put your comment on biyanpurnamasari.blogspot.com